A Call to Arms (But Mostly Hands)

Some of you may have seen my name mentioned in the press recently as the Washington Post reported:

The FBI is joining the Bush administration's War on Porn. And it's looking for a few good agents.  Early last month, the bureau's Washington Field Office began recruiting for a new anti-obscenity squad. One of their first calls was to Marc at the Daily Shower, a well known bathing blogger and inventor.

Much to FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III's displeasure, Marc turned down the offer with only four words: "I have been sullied."

And I have been sullied, ladies and gentlemen.  Saturated, subjugated and deflated by the x-rated (Jesse Jackson texted me that the other day.) There was a time when I would have leapt at an opportunity like this but those days are gone.  I just cannot stomach the sight of password protected sites and their steamy streams of teeming cheerleading teams of teens any more.

Today I bid farewell to all the sites I've logged before: DickInJane, 8thStreetLatinas, 9thStreetFatTinas, CaptainStabbin, BangBus, BangBoat, BangBuggy, BangBike, BangBalloon, BangBoogieBoard, BangBros, MikesApartment, MattsModels, Mitchells Mannequins, ChicksGoBothWays, MilfHunter, ElfHunter, WeLiveTogether, WeBatheTogether, WePlayQbertTogether, WifeysWorld, WifesWhirled, TheCzechIsInTheFemale (sister site to TheCzechIsInTheMale,) BoneMyWife, BoneMyGirlfriend, BoneMyBone, NotThatBone, AmateurCreampies, AmateurChocolateCreampies, AmateurBavarianCreampies, BlackDicksWhiteChicks, WhiteDicksBlackChicks, HerSweetHand, HerSourFoot, HornyHeather, PorkiePatty, DeepsixSue, CumFiesta, HumFiesta, TheOriginalButtMan, TheUnOriginalButtMan, TheAboriginalButtMan, and finally, OralHerShySirs.

I nobly turn my back on e-sexuality and disappear into the sunset of asexuality. 

Goodbye and good riddance!

UPDATE: Found great a new site, LindsayLowHand.  It is not to be believed!

ANOTHER UPDATE: Beyond Belief: Fact or Friction. Can anyone (without the help of Google) determine which of the above sites are real and which have been concocted by our coy writers?

Comments

[Arco]

One of the beat Daily Showers EVER!!!! i'm still laughing, and i may know which names are real and which are fake but i'm not at liberty to admit to viewing such 'e-sexuality' sites. Also could this make for a great new Fox series spin off, i see it now in flashing lights...........XXX-Files

[Children Anxiety Disorder]

hey what are you doing on the tub dude!!!! get out of there and lets party!!!!

[Affiliate Promotion]

Fiction is the best friend!!!!!